fear.

He thinks I am resilient. He says if I have the ability to make him resilient, then I myself must be so.

I have hoped so.


but I do not believe so.

Sachiko.

she was in the kitchen
with gohan and tea
me, in the backyard-climbing
you, silent,swaying from the tree's swing
two feelings which were
buoyant
through thin air
dinner floated to us
then in a small rush
i looked down
while you looked up
i shook a branch
and spilt a leaf
drifting to you,i watched it recede
and its subtlety
i could not understand until a year ago


where you are
light is never gone
even in the night
water glistens everywhere

last spring, I started reading "Perfectly Yourself : 9 lessons for enduring happiness"




















Normally I toss self-help books to the side as I roll my eyes because I just feel oh too superior to be reading one. But after a long conversation with my aunt and a few tears of frustration due to my desire of clarity and a couple "I don't know how to be happy"'s... it just seemed like (forgive me) a sign when this book laid atop a pile of my Aunt's books when I opened the forgotten closet hidden behind my dresser. So I started reading it and to my surprise, Frank Kelly convinced me that he knew exactly how I was feeling and his cures seemed too pure and good to be just a treatment. By mid-afternoon the next day I had made it to Lesson 6. I was so filled with inspiration and motivation to begin practicing the lessons that I put the book down to start. I forgot the book. Last night-I picked it up again and finally made it to Lesson 9, followed by a review of all the lessons where I found... I have come a long way since last spring. Of course, I've yet to find my own happiness but this book taught me a lot. Mostly it taught me to be patient and not to worry. Still is teaching me to accept myself. Which has too much to do with happiness, feeling at home within myself.


And while I'm recommending things, ughh, please pick up a bottle of Giovanni's Tea Tree Triple Treat shampoo and conditioner. It's costs more than your usual--but it truly feels like its washing all your troubles out of your mind. It.is.just. so relieving.



















________
I recieved a message today.Followed by a phone call.



I just wanted to say that. I'm not really going to say anything about either.


___

-

You can't very well get anywhere without a destination.

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.

Snow had fallen last night and I am the girl that gets a little uplifted inside every year.





Though it is always expected, the change does have some sense of spontaneity-that is probably what I enjoy most.